Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Gah! Im so stressed out right now. My anxiety level is sky high. Can we say panic attack? I always get this way before I leave on a trip, especially if it involves flying, and even more so if Im going to be stuck on a god damn plan for 9 hours. It doesnt help that I started my period today and am cranky as hell and have cramps like a mother right now, and Boys mom is driving me up a fucking WALL! She freaks out everytime we leave to go anywhere, no matter where it is or how long it is. Its so annoying. She's just been around us all fucking day and I want her to just go home and let us get our shit done. Not to mention once again I cant find my stuff because she's moved it some place fucking stupid. Like my favorite nail polish that I've been looking for, for 6 months, I found in the cupboard above the fridge that no one goes in. WTF? I was in the that cupboard looking for something else that she had also moved. And for the past 6 months when I've asked about where my nail polish went, I get the same answer I always get, "I didnt touch it." I didnt put it in the god damn cupboard so that leaves only one person because Boy doesnt touch my stuff. Grrr...Im just PMS, stressed out bitching. BLAH!

Im trying to de-stress by listening to my iPod while its charging up right now. Music always calms me. Its my savior. If I didnt have my iPod, I might die. For reals. Or freak out and kill someone. I want to go to sleep but I know its useless. I NEVER sleep the night before a trip, especially big ones. I just lay awake all night. Im going to take some Tylenol PM's on the plane tomorrow so I can sleep on the plane and not worry so much. I hope. God, I feel like my chest is going to explode right now. Stupid anxiety.

On the plus side, no matter how annoyed I am with Boys mom, she is still a saint. She'll be taking care of Bailey and Lola (my lizards) for me, as well as the fish tanks, and the baby cardinals. I dont know what I would do without her. Unfortuntaly for her, the cardinals are going through a dieing off stage where the weak are dieing from not eating probably, and the strong and doing awesome. Such as life.

I also got in my Frog Tree order today. My pima cotten and pima silk for summer knits. Tis' the season for cotten! I personally dont like cotten because its so heavy, but I think Im going to use it too make Juliet with. I'll also be starting some awesome socks with some yarn from Blackthrone Fibers, Angelia's hand dyed sock yarn that is so yummy its not even funny. Everyone should own LOTS of it. Its the best. I will post pictures of my Blackthorne goodies when I get them. You will be jealous, I promise.

On a cute snuggly note, I got to snuggle with the kittah this morning. So far I havent found a way to actually snuggle with the kittah (which belongs to the house next door but lurvs us WAY more). But this morning he was at the front door so I grabbed the brush and cuddled up on the Chase under the blanket, and the kittah jumped up and we snuggled while I brushed him for about 45 minutes. It was awesome. He was all spread out on my lap rolling around being all cute and giving me wet kittah nose kisses and needing my leg with his claws while I brushed him. It was sooo cute and fun. I miss having something to snuggle with. I've always had dogs to snuggle, but not here. The funniest part, the kittah bit Boy today and not me. Ha!! I always get bit. Thats why I use the brush. The brush gets the love bites instead of me. He should of hand the brush...

Stupid Jessica moment of the week: I realized on Saturday that I had missed my dad's birthday. I felt like the worst person in the world. And the sad part? His birthday is one of my passwords. :DOH!:

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